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Top 7 New Sports Curses to Replace the Curse of the Bambino

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1. The Curse of the Sux (If other New England teams begin losing after the Red Sox win).

2. The Curse of Dubya (If Bush wins after Sox win).

3. The Curse of "Why Not Us?" (If the Cubs still don't win after the Sox win).

4. The Curse of Man-Ram (If one of Manny Ramirez's skanky dreadlocks causes star closer Keith Foulke to succumb to the Bubonic Plague).

5. The Curse of Schill (If millions of Bostonians give themselves copycat tendon-stitching surgeries to be like Curt Schilling).

6. The Curse of "America's Team" (If Kerry wins after the Sox win, but he turns out to be a terrible president).

7. The Curse of No More Curses (If the Cubs do actually win one now).

--Nicholas Collias

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