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PERFORMANCE ENHANCING DRUGS MANDATORY • FAT IS THE NEW STARVING • YOU CAN'T JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS TITLE • THE REAL QUESTIONS IS, HOW CUTE IS THAT SPERM? • HOLY HUG • I AM MAN, HEAR ME CROAK

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PERFORMANCE ENHANCING DRUGS MANDATORY

If you're looking for a more exciting way to keep in shape, you might want to check out YesButNoButYes.com for cool descriptions of "The 10 Most Obscure Sports in the World." Among the weirdness are these gems: No. 8, Surf Life Saving, which combines "the grace and beauty of water sports with the thrill of cardiac arrest." No. 6 combines all dog-related sports, including dog racing, dog sledding and dog tossing. No. 4 examines the U.S. Association of Rock, Paper, Scissors. No. 2 is Unicycle Hockey (what else are you gonna do with your unicycle that doesn't involve getting beaten up?) and at No. 1 are the Extreme Ironing World Championships, which "combines the thrills of an extreme outdoor activity with the satisfaction of a well-pressed shirt."

FAT IS THE NEW STARVING

Remember how we used to worry about all the starving people in the world? You'd think there would be a massive celebration if we ever solved that problem, wouldn't you? But no ... instead we are now being warned that obesity has reached pandemic proportions and threatens to bankrupt health budgets throughout the world. This is according to scientists at the 10th International Congress on Obesity, which announced that there are now more overweight people in the world (1 billion) than there are undernourished people (800 million). And no, they didn't report this as good news. Instead they warn that obesity is the "single greatest contributor to chronic disease throughout the world." Some people are never satisfied. (Breitbart.com)

YOU CAN'T JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS TITLE

There is a book for sale at Amazon called "0.1361015212836455566789110512013615..." That title is curious enough in itself, but even better is this short description I found in a book review: "A martial arts instructor by day, not even a science fiction fan, Tyrone Vadas has been receiving strange visits lately from a gargantuan alien with numerous undulating appendages. The alien returns every night attempting to give Tyrone a special gift. But he doesn't want it. Then the numbers begin. They go on and on and never seem to end. Will Tyrone ever accept the alien's gift? And could the multitude of numbers be signaling the end of the fucking world?"

THE REAL QUESTIONS IS, HOW CUTE IS THAT SPERM?

As if it's not bad enough being ugly, we now learn that ugly men's sperm is weaker and slower than the sperm of handsome men. Studies carried out at the University of Valencia in Spain rated the quality of test subjects' sperm and then had a group of women rate photos of the men according to the attractiveness of their facial features. Surprisingly, the study concluded that men who rated most attractive by the women generally had sperm that was stronger and traveled faster than the sperm of less attractive men. (New Scientist)

HOLY HUG

Mata Amritanandamyi Math, a 47-year old Indian holy woman has been traveling throughout Asia and Europe healing people with her "spiritual energy hugs." Amma, as she is known to her devotees, draws audiences of up to 18,000 per day and sleeps only two hours a night. It is estimated that she has hugged 20 million people to date. (Amritapuri.org)

HOW TO GET LAID IF YOU'RE AN AWKWARD ZIT-FACED TEEN

A study of 11,700 college students found that those who started drinking before the age of 13 were twice as likely to have unplanned or unprotected sex than those who didn't drink until after the age of 19. Gee, I wonder if there is a connection?

I AM MAN, HEAR ME CROAK

A study of over 1,400 thunderstorm-related deaths carried out at the University of Pittsburgh found that over 70 percent of those killed by floods and lightning strikes during storms are men. And the reason why the vast majority of victims are men? The researchers came to the simple conclusion that men are more likely to stay out during a storm. "I would say they make poor decisions," said Dr. Thomas Songer, who carried out the research. "Men tend to be optimists. They all think ... they're never going to be hit by lightning." Most deaths occurred while the men were involved in sports or recreational activities (36.3 percent), followed by people working (21.8 percent) and people out boating and fishing (15.2 percent). As well, over 65 percent of flash flood victims were men trying to drive around barricades or drive on flooded roads.

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