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Katie Couric Moves On

The Palin roaster has announced she's leaving CBS

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Katie Couric has announced that she's leaving CBS News later this month, and a lot of people seem to think it actually matters--which it would, except it's not 1975.

Do you know anyone under the age of 80 who watches network news? If so, they probably just woke up from a coma. Getting news from 30-minute network broadcasts at 5 p.m. these days is like renting VCR porn from Blockbuster.

Headlines proclaim Couric a pioneer, which is true--kind of like becoming the first person to ride a horse across the country when everybody else travels in those fancy, four-wheeled driving machines.

She announced her departure to People magazine. Instead of saving it for her own show, Couric decided People deserved the scoop.

Couric told the magazine that she wants to "engage in more multi-dimensional storytelling." More dimensions than reading tediously timid, tiny news introductions on a teleprompter that someone else has written? That's some impressive ambition from someone who already spends about three whole minutes on the air five days per week.

On the April 25 broadcast, more than six of those 21 minutes were devoted to two separate stories about the stupid royal wedding. That was four days before the wedding from which, Couric announced at the end of the show, she would be broadcasting live.

Until she begins her new job--maybe 3-D interviews with kittens--we'll fend for scraps of current events from several 24-hour cable news channels and the Internet, where every single bit of information in the entire world is available at any time within seconds of searching for it.

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