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How Kinky Are You?

Take our fetish quiz

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Love doesn't make the world go round. But the extremes of lust--and the global cocaine trade--do. Match the dirty baker's dozen fetishes to the correct definition and find out how kinky you really are.

1. Autagonistophilia

2. Autassassinophilia

3. Chrematistophilia

4. Coprophagia

5. Formicophilia

6. Gerontophilia

7. Hybristophilia

8. Infantilism

9. Mixophilia

10. Morphophilia

11. Olfactophilia

12. Stigmatophilia

13. Symphorphilia

A.Convicts excite you.

B.Forget the ears, you like other people's body parts pierced.

C.A Fear Factor segment in which insects crawl on your genitals has the opposite of its intended effect.

D.You prefer the sexual company of circus freaks like dwarfs or the fat lady.

E.Tornadoes, hurricanes, earthquakes, floods, tidal waves get you randy, baby.

F.You become sexually aroused by dangerous and deadly situations.

G.You are into poo, ewwwww!

H.You really enjoy a dirty Sanchez.

I.Being blackmailed excites you.

J.You get off by being in situations in which people may accidentally see you naked.

K.You like to watch yourself and your partner on live video or mirrors.

L.You like your partners at least 15 years older than you.

M.You like to wear a diaper and have a nanny spank you.

If you answered:

0--Get a life.

1-3--Live a little.

4-7--A pervert is someone kinkier than you.

8-12--Homeland Security is watching.

All 13--You are one sick puppy.

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