Next time you're traveling for business or pleasure, please consider Boise, Idaho. Here in harmless, idyllic Boise, we have so little crime, we have to outlaw stuff like gay marriage just to have something to do. Sure, every once in a while someone will scalp someone in a hot springs or drunkenly drive an SUV off an overpass, but we definitely don't have any of those big-city crimes like--just to pick something at random--car jackings ... right?
That may have been the old Boise, but in the new Boise--the reeeeally skinny one with bad teeth--things have changed. Take, for example, an incident last Tuesday at the Edwards Theaters complex on Overland, where witnesses say a man--a really skinny one with bad teeth, to be specific--threatened them with a bat in order to steal their cars. Police say that around noon, the man walked up to another man at the theater, saw the keys on his belt, and demanded his car. Upon hearing that his target did not actually have a car, but was instead just one of those guys who walks around with keys on his belt, the suspect walked off.
The suspect then approached two women getting out of a car and put on his same little "I'm so scary with my big bat and bad teeth, give me your car whydoncha" routine. The women, who were visiting Boise on business from Los Angeles and Miami, gave him their car, a rented Pontiac Grand Am with Washington plates. But (and here's how you can tell they were from cities where crazy displays like this are fairly common) the women were actually able to snatch a computer out of the car before the suspect drove off.
Upon arriving on the scene, officers were not able to find the suspect. But they didn't have to wait long to hear about his further misadventures. At 1:40 p.m., someone called in a report of a reckless driver reaching speeds of about 100 mph on eastbound I-84 around the Eisenman Road exit. While common sense may have indicated this to be another criminal (a Grand Am driving in the triple digits? Shyeah right!), officers nonetheless went to the area, but again didn't locate the suspect.
Finally, at 3:22 p.m., the perp gave police a hand. He called emergency dispatch for medical assistance from the Boise Stage Stop, about 15 miles east of Boise (you know the spot: it's out in that weird part of Ada County where they sell fireworks, but the county doesn't provide any fire services). A Sheriff's deputy went to the scene and found Michael Cheser, 27, of North Bend, Oregon, who matched the suspect description from the car jacking. The stolen car was found nearby. Cheser was taken to a Boise hospital for evaluation, and police said he would be taken to jail on charges of robbery once he was medically cleared.