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CURIOUS TIMES DEC. 3 EDITION

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I STILL LOVE YOU, BUT NOT AS MUCH AS MY MONEY

The Wall Street Journal reports that the mistresses of multimillionaires are about to feel the pinch of the recession. While only 12 percent of the ultra-rich surveyed said they would stop visiting their lovers, more than 80 percent admitted they will be cutting back on allowances, expensive gifts, jet rides, restaurant meals and resort vacations. For some strange reason, the number was much lower for rich women who had secret lovers. Of those, only 20 percent said they planned to lower their spending while more than 50 percent of the women said they would actually spend more on their lovers in this tough economic climate. "For the women, lovers matter more than ever now because the rest of life is so dreary," explained one expert. "For the men, they're just cutting across the board."

CRISIS? WHAT CRISIS?

Or maybe you have many more millions of dollars than you know how to spend sensibly. So why not sign up for the world's first $1 million package holiday offered by the Emirates Palace Hotel in Abu Dhabi. The week of extravagance begins in the luxurious 7,000-square-foot Palace Suite of the hotel, which includes your very own 24-hour private butler and a chauffeur-driven Maybach car. Of course, you can also eat and drink whatever you want in one of 12 restaurants or go hang out at your own private beach. Excursions on the week-long fantasy trip include private jet flights to Iran (where you will create your own Persian carpet), an exclusive spa treatment at the Dead Sea in Jordan, and deep sea pearl diving in Bahrain, followed by having your pearls set in hand-designed jewelry by a master craftsman. The rest of the week can be spent on a champagne sunset and desert island tour, a deep-sea fishing trip, or simply golfing at any of the region's ultra-exclusive clubs. (The Telegraph)

THE SECRET LIFE OF PLANT WARFARE

Bizarre research out of Australia has found that bacteria have a sophisticated communications system that allows them to hunt in packs. Scientists found that bacteria are in constant communication with each other and use this system to figure out when enough bacteria have gathered in order to launch an attack. Even more surreal, the research team from the Australian National University found that plants have a form of radar that can analyze the numbers of harmful or beneficial bacteria in their surroundings and plan a defense. Plants seem to be able to eavesdrop on the communications of bacteria and mimic the communication signals in order to trick small groups of bacteria into thinking they had larger numbers of attacking forces, thereby getting them to attack prematurely and be defeated by the plant's defenses. "We didn't expect such an extensive response," said Dr. Ulrike Mathesius. "If you see a plant, it doesn't seem to do very much. But there is so much going on under the soil. It's like finding that instead of being blind, it can see and hear and talk." (smh.com.au)

HOW TO PISS AWAY YOUR BUSINESS

The owners of a Web site that sold a fake penis filled with fake urine for people who needed to beat drug tests have been charged with two counts of conspiracy in a U.S. federal court. The two men have been selling a device called "The Whizzinator" for the past three years online, and it still seems to be available at a site called shellshock420.com. "The Whizzinator's prosthetic penis is so lifelike that most experts in the field can not detect it," claims the site, which sells the device along with synthetic urine and a small heating element for the ultimate in realism. The men face up to eight years in prison and a $500,000 fine.

GOOD MORNING

Last week, we learned of the many health benefits of sex. This week, it's our second-favorite hobby that turns out to be good for us. The latest research on coffee has discovered that coffee drinkers have a 25 percent lower risk of death from heart disease compared to non-coffee drinkers. This is only the latest in a growing body of research that has also discovered that drinking coffee reduces the risk of liver cancer by half and cuts down the risk of type II diabetes by 50 percent. (douglassreport.com)

INTERNET FACT OF THE WEEK

The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.

More bizarro news at curioustimes.com.

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