Ski masks are creepy. Though they're unquestionably utilitarian, it's impossible to rock one without looking bank-robber-chic. Like glow sticks or trucker hats, the balaclava has been co-opted by a small, annoying minority and forever banished to bad-associationland.
Luckily, there's a non-creepy, all-natural ski mask: the beard. Chin gardens have been warming faces since the dawn of humanity. But sadly, not everyone--children, those afflicted with alopecia universalis, most ladies--can grow a full beard. Until now.
Etsy seller Taraduff has combined the practical warmth of the ski mask with the ZZ Top-itude of the beard, crafting hand-crocheted beanies with attached crocheted beards. Taraduff's hats come in a variety of colors and patterns, but the beards keep it classic in shades like light brown, dark brown, silver gray, charcoal gray, black, blond and ginger.
The beardnies range in price from $45-$55 and are made from 100 percent acrylic yarn. Or you can get a straight-up crocheted beard (no beanie) for $20.
Though nothing can match the insulating warmth of real face fur, these faux-beards are bound to grow on you.