by Josh Gross
My goal was to write about the Reverend Horton Heat's performance at Knitting Factory Feb. 27. And, there was plenty to write about. Everything from the effortless way front man Jim Heath's fingers danced across the neck of the guitar, to the set of Dead Kennedys covers the band played as an encore after a nearly two-hour set. Even the way "Where In The Hell Did You Go With My Toothbrush?" remains one of the best songs ever written about a breakup.
But as much of a tour de force of talent the Rev was, he paled in comparison to the drunken shitshow that proceeded him from Gutttermouth, the world's leading group of potty-punks.
Frontman Mark Adkins was in truly rare form, something he attributed to starting drinking at approximately 9 a.m. Why would he do such a thing?
"Because I have personal problems," he slurred. "You may have a beard, but I have inner turmoil having to do with bad parenting. Possibly bad grandparenting. Possibly even bad great-grandparenting."
Many of the words Adkins uttered were mush-mouthed and mangled, if they were words at all. He spent half of a song wandering around in a circle before realizing his microphone wasn't even plugged in. So Adkins shoved the mic in his pocket and grabbed someone else's to tell the audience what he didn't like about Boise.
"There's not enough gay people here," he said. Then he turned to the band and offered a strategy: "Let's make these people gay."
Adkins then started stripping and encouraging the audience to do the same and to throw their clothes onstage. When they didn't, Adkins asked the only obvious question: "What's the matter? Don't you guys celebrate diversity?"
Then he stopped singing for awhile to pick lint out of his bellybutton and use the microphone to perform fake fellatio on the band's bass player.
By the end of the show, Adkins had torn the shirts off the backs of his entire band and distracted them from their instruments with a variety of titty twisters.
"You guys should know ... the name of our band," he slurred after the last song. "We're called Guttermouth. Let's hear it for us."
Adkins then encouraged just the ladies to cheer.
"That makes me want to beat-off in the staff bathroom," he said and tottered offstage.
Halfway through the Rev's set, Adkins reappeared on the dance floor having one helluva psychobilly freakout until Knitting Factory security removed him and forced him backstage like total goobers.
The Reverend Horton Heat was great. But following an Andy-Kaufman-meets-G.G. Allin performance like Adkins gave would have even been hard for Andy Kaufman or G.G. Allin.