by Josh Gross
Set aside his crimes against humanity and Kim Jong Il is actually a fun-loving, wacky dude. He likes film, bouffants and repelling the capitalist hordes trying to destroy the paradise of his homeland.
Fun facts about North Korea's deceased dictator include that he hit 11 holes-in-one the only time he played golf, a new star appeared in the sky when he was born, he composed six operas, wrote 1,500 books and could control the weather with his moods.
But then again, those are the facts according to Kim Jong Il, or whatever ghostwriter penned the propaganda pamphlets with his name on them.
That's why it is fitting that his autobiography will be ghostwritten, as well.
Michael Malice, a professional ghostwriter who has written books for D.L. Hughley and Bret Michaels, has decided his next subject will be none other than Kim Jong Il. But, seeing as how he's dead and considered reality something of a fluid concept, Malice's book, Dear Reader: The Unauthorized Autobiography of Kim Jong Il, will be written from Il's perspective as he and his propaghandists envisioned himself.
Malice traveled to North Korea and "spirited" out as many propaganda pamphlets and books attributed to Il as possible. Those books will supply the necessary facts to tell the story of a leader who was enough of a cut-up to claim unicorns once existed in a local cave and cutthroat enough to starve a nation while he dined in opulence in his many mansions.
Since, unlike Malice's other projects, there isn't a client, Malice has launched a crowdfunding campaign to raise $30,000 to cover the costs of writing and publishing the book. Contributors to the campaign can get copies of the book, pages from the propaganda pamphlets, a revolutionary-style painting of themselves or even the chance to be included on Kim Jong Il's "enemies list," in the book, right next to that infamous capitalist pig The Mona Lisa.