by Tara Morgan
If you thought hipster ironic appropriation reached its head-scratching pinnacle with the nu-rave scene, think again. After clearing thrift store shelves of fanny-packs and puffy Christmas sweaters, they’re now commandeering the high seas.
The inaugural Bruise Cruise promises to be a hipster trifecta—combining excessive drinking, obscure music and soul dance offs—all on a completely not-obscure cruise ship floating from Miami to the Bahamas. Bands slated to perform include The Black Lips, Surfer Blood, Vivian Girls, Thee Oh Sees, Turbo Fruits, Ty Segall, Strange Boys, Jacuzzi Boys and Quintron and Miss Pussycat.
There are only 400 total spots available on the cruise, which also includes gambling, open bars, pools, water parks, spas and an island party in Nassau, The Bahamas. Tickets are $615 per person for an interior cabin room and $665 for an ocean view room—or in beer-conomics, that’s roughly 410-440 PBR tall boys.