Need Something to do Monday?

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And it's not just any Monday ... it's Flag Day! Which means ... I know this one ... it's about ... flags? No? Sandwiches, then. It's sandwiches, right? Sandwiches? Ham sandwiches? Peanut butter?

Oh it is flags... Well, f#$%.

You got me. Flag Day doesn't mean a thing to me except for evoking nightmare images of the infamous flagpole scene in A Christmas Story, but let's not go there.

All I'm saying is that since it's a "holiday," it must mean something to somebody, something that they might want to transform into "meaningful" performance art? And today, that should happen.

But where would such madness ensue?

Why at an open mic of course, the one place in which all manner of crap is welcomed with open arms, usually because people have to drink a lot: on one side, to handle the nerves of performing in front of an audience and on the other, to dull the pain of watching said performances.

Now Monday is a good day for open mics, because there seems to be some sort of Footloose-esque law that prohibits anything else from going on. You could go to any of four places tonight. But which one to pick?

Well, this gets us into the central problem with open mics as they relate to Flag Day: too many acoustic guitars. Yes. Too many. The dreaded acoustic guitar is where open mics fall short of their potential. At any open mic, they're everywhere, often being wielded by somebody's dad strumming Neil Young songs and waxing about the time he almost got to open for Fogelberg. That's no fun at all. Bringing an acoustic guitar to an open mic is so expected ... it's like bringing an acoustic guitar to an open mic.

An open mic should be wide open, a place where anything can happen, making the potential for success every bit as epic as the potential for failure, and there's only one open mic in town like that: Terrapin Station.

They'll give you the stage for as long as you want to do whatever you want with, which in my experience has lead to goth-techno karaoke, ukuleles and funk jams. Want to try your standup comedy set? How about a test run of your game show pilot? Or your interpretive dance entitled, "I Llama-Tamer." Get up there champ. It's the only open mic in town that's truly open, and clearly the one and only place in which you can express your inner Flag Day.

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