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A Tale of Two Kings

In 1933 the theatrically released movie King Kong depicted the capture of a magnificent primate, a lord and master of his jungle domain. Brought to the urban jungle of New York City, he was put on display before civilized society as a freak and to provide ghoulish entertainment.

Kong escapes, wreaking havoc and roaming the city streets, confused and angry. Finally, he climbs the Empire State Building in an attempt for freedom. He valiantly fights the bullet-spewing biplanes but is mortally wounded and falls to the pavement below. A crowd gathers and stands in awe of his power; his primeval grandeur; his raw nobility.

In the summer of 2016, a soon to be released big-budget horror movie depicts the life of another king, King Trump—lord of the business jungle, who blazed a trail of multi-million dollar real estate deals, mega-construction projects and high-end golf courses. His brazen, rough-edged charisma; aggressive personality; tireless work ethic; and take-no-prisoners style reaps him riches, notoriety and beautiful wives.

Shifting his talents to the political jungle, King Trump quickly dispenses with his weak, ineffectual and bankrupt rivals using braggadocio, bullying and crowd-pleasing promises of a Trump utopia.

His outright lies, half-truths, contradictions, endless flip-flops on issues and past statements have no effect on his poll numbers and his popularity grows.

King Trump now stands alone, having cowed his adopted political party. He greets any lingering opposition with another blast of hot air. On the king trudges through the political jungle, his statements and boasts growing louder and wilder—at times, he is almost incomprehensible. Checks and balances are absent.

The country needs a hero to defeat this fireball of crassness. Or maybe a heroine. From the Republican wars of Whitewater, Benghazi hearings and State Department email snafus, Lady Hillary appears ready for her next foe.

Lady Hillary counters King Trump's bombast with references to his questionable business dealings; dubious ethical standards; shady Trump University; and idiotic claims to possess easy, simple solutions to all the world's problems. She labels him a charlatan, a fraud, a clown. Incensed, King Trump shrieks: "Crooked Hillary!"

His attacks bounce off Lady Hillary's Teflon pantsuit and fall to the ground. Enraged, King Trump roams the city streets, confused and angry. Finally, he climbs Trump Tower and from the pinnacle thumps his chest and screams he is worth $10 billion. Lady Hillary unloads her final volley of truth, respect for the rule of law, and the American values and traditions of tolerance and inclusiveness.

Mortally wounded, King Trump falls down the side of his tower and splats on the pavement. A crowd gathers, erupting in celebration. The camera pans across the Hudson River to the streets of New Jersey, where thousands of people are cheering wildly.

—Tom Yount

Boise